As the "War on Christmas" looms, the Chronicle has an interesting piece on Real vs. Fake Christmas (errr...Holiday) Trees
I personally go for the fake tree for several reasons:
1) It is reusable - which is important to me because it means I never have to haul a dirty tree up my 2-story hallway - leaving behind a sloppy trail of dirt, sap, spiders, and pine needles. Instead I can casually pick up the 3 pieces of carcinogenic poly-something-or-other (one at a time) from my storage closet and return it after 2-weeks are up. Lather, rinse, repeat annually.
2) My dog doesn't love the taste of a fake tree. Less vomiting.
3) It pisses off my Norman Rockwell-ian in-laws who only believe in hacking off the real thing. (My father-in-law loves this part so much, I think he should have been a mohel
4) Presents stay clean and dry underneath this tree. This is important as I demand lots of electronic gadgetry
for Christmas. (Jungle Cat, I know you hear me on this one).
5) I think the idea of playing drag-queen dress up with a plant is unbelievably gay! Truth be told, I would rather not have a tree at all. However, my significant-other insists we do - so naturally, I demanded a fake tree; a move completely consistent with classic law student-passive aggressive behavior.
In other words: I lost the war, but I won a very small and petty battle! By the way, when pressed about this, I will insist that the battle has been waged on behalf of Mother Nature.
Accordingly, I declare the "War on Christmas" has a new front - and the Real Christmas tree is the new faux! (ok, bad pun).